Tuesday, 11 March 2014

Franz & Joseph Record Shop, Kastanienallee, Prenzlauerberg


Not *just* an Unfriendly Berlin Shop, but possibly the most unfriendly shop in the world. Period.

This exchange, from February 2014, has been confirmed to me separately by three different Berlin friends as absolutely typical and par-for-the-course:

Me: <browsing through the Lou Reed section, looking for Street Hassle>
Unfriendly Berlin Shop: "WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
Me: "Street Hassle. But... <with apologetic smile>... it seems to be the only one you don't have."
UBS: "Oh, I have it."
Me: <long pause> "I can't see it."
UBS: "I have it."
Me: <even longer pause> "Er..."
UBS: "I have it."
Me: <wondering where it is? Positively Pinteresque pause>
UBS: "ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT?"
Me: <confused. I want Street Hassle> "Er...The Beach Boys' Pet Sounds?>
UBS: "YOU CAN'T AFFORD IT!"
Me: <dumbfounded - but willing to give UBS benefit of doubt that (speaking English) he means shop doesn't take cards, and I won't have enough cash on me> "Why...how much is it?"
UBS: "60 euros"
Me: <apologetic laugh> "Ha! You're right, that is expensive. Is there a reason why...It must be a first edition, or..."
UBS: "GET OUT OF MY SHOP. GET OUT OF MY SHOP!"

<watched by aghast Japanese tourists, I exit.>




1 comment:

  1. Look, if you'd said, I found a pristine copy of the LP sitting on top of a dustbin in Hamburg's überbürgerlich Harvestehude and you could have had all the Street Hassle you needed for nothing. as it was I left it as a gift for my airbnb landlady. "Tatenlos zusehen kann ich bei dieser Kunstvernichtung nicht!"

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